Be the Change You Want to See....

"Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war."

Donald Trump

When I first started this blog, I was relieved in a way. I finally felt I had the strength and courage to talk openly about life. Growing up in a Catholic family, our past was full of secrets. Things were just not spoken of during that time. It wasn't the done thing. I can understand why things were handled in a particular way back then, but now I feel it is important to know what happened, with respect and support not judgement or opinion. 
Everyone needs a sense of belonging. To know where we have come from, who it is that we respect and who inspired us to become the people we are today. We need to understand and connect with those qualities and opinions we value. It's important to learn how our families faced troubled times, if we are ever going to be able to face and overcome them ourselves. We also need to know what qualities run deep through our veins....strong, weak, determined, hard-working, caring, loving, gentle. From here our self-identity can be evolved. Our values and morals are formed and even though we cannot change our experiences in life, what we do with those "lessons learnt" is purely up to us. 
In both my mother and fathers ancestry, women were strong role-models. They dealt with so much hard-ship. Caring, supportive, holding families together in times of grief, sickness, war, poverty, social pressures and sometimes even dealing with predicaments that brought unwanted attention to the family. All of this, with a strong sense of loyalty and responsibility, with faith, patience, grace and poise. It was these women, who also stood behind and honoured the male figures within the home. Always giving, helping and working hard. They were inspirational. 
I think I would have liked to have known more about these relatives, much earlier in my life. To appreciate, to learn, to understand and embrace their spirit. 


Part of my of understanding of who I am, is the reason behind this blog. A"gift" that I choose to give my sons, a gift of knowledge.  The more I can communicate about the different "mountains," we as a family had to climb, about how we conquered these and succeeded in life...the better. With age will come appreciation, this I know, but at least the knowledge is here ready to teach, and guide when they are ready. Little by little I am revealing inner thoughts, information and beliefs that I stand by. It has been difficult, and for a very long time, it was easier not to discuss, think or feel any emotion. I guess in my "survival bag of goodies"-  to show real, honest emotion was a sign of weakness. It can be tiresome to relive past memories that have left a scar. But as I hope for a future, when the boys will have families of their own, and all these moments will light up the right path in times of need.
When considering what I need to say about the past, I guess, I was conflicted. I could have blogged about events we experienced, but really...... the drama, confusion and pain attached to those memories is somewhat unreal. A bit like an episode of "days of our lives". Way too confusing to rehash. I also need to consider the types of lessons or phrasing of words I want to use, to communicate meaning . If said in a way, the boys could attach a past memory, then my guidance will hopefully be appreciated and understood. 


So my thoughts turn towards some very simple small points. I have already mentioned a few in previous postings:

1. Have Faith in what you believe.

2. Treat people the same way you want to be treated.

3. Know and be proud of who you are. Believe in yourself.

4. Take the time to think before decisions are made.

5. Take responsibility for your words and actions.

6. Love and Respect your family and friends.

7. Remember to say "please and thank-you".

8. The simple things in life are the most precious.

9. You will only ever have one mother. Cherish her.

10. Nothing is easy in life, so work hard.

11. Chance is a gift, so act on chance when given the opportunity.

12. Slow down and live.

13. Knowledge is power.

14. Perseverance is Priceless.

15. Nothing is Perfect. Make Mistakes.

16. Learn the rules, then play better.

17. Sometimes you need to believe — in other people and in life.

18. Always ask questions.

19. There are more important things in life than whatever is bothering you today.

20. Always get up and go another round.

Anything I left out? I am so sure there would be. But just for now, to start off....
I think I will stick to these. I know, mistakes and changes are good. This will be a work in progress.