BELATED BIRTHDAYS, BOWLING and BUDDIES.

BELATED BIRTHDAYS, BOWLING and BUDDIES.

We are all so excited about this Sunday.  

FINALLY.... my family has the opportunity to celebrate the very belated 

7th Birthday of my youngest son. 

It has been a long time coming. His actual Birthday was in April. I had posted about the 

choice my family and I had made to delay the celebration and why.  But to quickly recap....

it came down to "timing."

http://riseuptoautism.blogspot.com/2011/04/happy-birthday-shhh.html

MILESTONES in life can not be assumed or expected when raising a child with Autism. 

The emotions, the memories, conversations, the excitement and understanding of  what a birthday celebration is?  .... just happen within normal childhood development.  We do not really need to think twice about it.... it's just natural.   

But when you have an Autistic child.... it's these simple, little things..... 

that cannot be assumed to just occur.  All that thinking and feeling and experience..... needs to be retaught and most of the time what is fun, exciting and wonderful to us..... is noisy, scary, unknown and confusing for a child on the spectrum. You cannot as a parent,  EXPECT your child will just "love" the whole annual ordeal. To comprehend what a birthday is, what their age means, the singing, the attention and the forced social contact...... it's extremely difficult.

It is incredibly important to our family to create a momentous "Birthday Memory" for my young son. We are following our RDI philosophy.... creating Episodic memories. Information and life experience that he can rely on, drawing information from in the future. 

 These memories, will be used by our little guy, when faced with uncertainty in life based on; events, times, places, associated emotions, and other relevant social knowledge.

A credit to my son, his personality, my family and friends - we have 34 children attending his Bowling Party.  Yep everyone has returned their R.S.V.P !   

"Oh my!"  .... Yes... I do know what you are thinking.... I'm a little scared too.  

But my teaching background has helped me to be extremely over prepared.  

Not every little child who has a birthday party is fortunate enough to have his entire class coming, his teacher, his aides, his respite workers, family and friends. But that is my son's life. We have a massive group of people involved in his development.... it is not just me. We all work as a team and we all play a different, equally important role.  I have always felt quite humbled acknowledging this.  It reminded me of the African proverbs....

"No man, woman, or family is an island."

"It takes a village to raise a child."

So far this week, I have seen my young son, understand and become very excited about his upcoming Birthday celebration. This in itself is a huge milestone.  Something I have never seen.  We have been counting down the days on his visual weekly calendar. He has been helping me writing invitations and then proceeded to hand them out at school. He even assisted his older brother and I in making the party guests lolly bags last night.  We picked up some balloons today, and we have made a Bowling Birthday book... to teach him the process of tomorrow.... and what to expect. He even has a wonderful Toy Story Birthday cake to share.  With such a large number of children and adults attending, some are expecting my lad to be quite over-whelmed...... but you know, I have learnt over the years, that if you expect the worst.... it will happen. So maybe we will just wait and see.

I need to say a MASSIVE thank-you to Chermside Hyperbowl, located in the Westfield Shopping Centre, Chermside.  The absolutely incredible management have been a huge support, helping me to organise this long awaited dream for my son.  Without their kind hearts.... we would not have been able to do this. I know we will be spending many hours, enjoying their hospitality and centre over the coming years.

http://www.hyperbowl.com.au/

SOME GOOD ADVICE...... ACCEPTANCE ON THE AUTISITIC SPECTRUM

LETTING GO..... 

Author Unknown

To let go doesn't mean to stop caring, 

It means I can't do it for someone else. 

To let go is not to cut myself off... 

It's the realization that I can't control another... 

To let go is not to enable, 

but to allow learning from natural consequences. 

To let go is to admit powerlessness, 

which means the outcome is not in my hands. 

To let go is not to try and change or blame another, 

I can only change myself. 

To let go is not to care for, but to care about. 

To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive. 

To let go is not to judge, 

but to allow another to be a human being. 

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, 

but to allow others to affect their own outcomes. 

To let go is not to be protective, 

It is to permit another to face reality. 

To let go is not to deny, but to accept. 

To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue, 

but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them. 

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, 

but to take each day as it comes and cherish the moment. 

To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone, 

but to try to become what I dream I can be. 

To let go is not to regret the past, 

but to grow and live for the future. 

To let go is to fear less and love more. 

(Always appreciate good advice, to start the weekend...)

Australian Child Support ... the unbalanced truth!

Australian Child Support ... the unbalanced truth!

Did You Know......?

This week has been an interesting challenge for me.....

Not only have I been dealing with the day to day trials of raising children on the Autistic Spectrum, but this week, I have also been learning a little more about the finer details of the Australian Child Support system in relation to disability.

Now, I am only passing on information here. I can not state my opinion, as it would 

require many colourful describing words which are clearly not fit for readers.

So the following information is just fact. I am not discussing my personal situation.

1.  The Australian Child Support System has a wonderful positive outlook of... "We don't look back ...only forward.... for a more positive future for both parents." - If a parent chooses not to pay private school fees for 5 years, of which they are financially responsible.... those funds cannot be recovered unless the other parent who does provide for all educational and medical costs, lodges court action.

2.  The same applies for Medical costs and Therapy associated with your child's disability. - Non paying parents actually have the power to deny their OWN child therapy required, especially if it means self sacrifice is required to fund that therapy. 

3. If you do have a child with a disability and your partnership with the other liable parent breaks down.... leaving you to raise that disabled child.....  

you will always be disadvantaged. - Government agencies will not pick up the tab for therapy, that financially responsible parties that will not pay. This is why the call is so strong for a National Disability Insurance Scheme. Families are struggling now to provide a quality of life for their disabled loved ones.

4.  You can lodge all the forms, spend hours of wasted time filling in paperwork and being interviewed on the phone..... have the judgement in cases go in your favour.... and still not receive the financial aide that the Child Support Agency Assessment Team recommends. - "Because at the end of the day.... we cannot enforce the other party to pay, if it means that they have to sacrifice any quality of their lifestyle for the benefit of the disabled child in question. "

So After learning all this pointless information this week.... is anything the Child Support Agency can actually do in helping sole parent families acquire equality in financial responsibility, when it comes to raising a disabled child.....?

NO... 

But here are some of my own suggestions.

 "Say nothing and just get on with it!"

......speaks for itself really!

......  send a mystery package to the parent in question. Won't change anything but would make you feel so much better!

or

RISE UP....

FIGHT....

KEEP GOING....

and 

WIN.... 

knowing you did everything you could possibly do.