DELUSIONAL DREAMING

DELUSIONAL DREAMING.

It's 5am here..... I have been awake for hours listening to my youngest son coughing. This is the second night of no sleep for me....yeah!  But prior he had been going really well. His tonsils and adenoids were healing  "perfectly" according to our Ear Nose and Throat specialist. He was back at school and settled into his routine.

Earlier this week he got a slight head cold, runny nose. With all the cold weather and sickness at school, I am really not so surprised. Without tonsils or adenoids now his colds are different. It is basically a runny nose with all that fluid running down the back of his throat, and continual coughing. Nothing seems to be helping to settle it. He has no fevers which is good, but is just coughing up phlegm I guess, and then swallowing everything. He doesn't blow his nose or won't spit up any fluid irritating him. It is only 4 and a half weeks since the operation, so he could be taking off another layer at the back of his throat.  I really don't know.  Looks like it's time for the doctors tomorrow.

Ironic really that he is sick. My oldest and dearest friend is having a 40th Birthday party this weekend in Melbourne. I so wanted to be there for her to help her celebrate, such a great milestone. But due to lack of babysitters, funds and the kids commitments, I had to decline.  Even if I had said yes, I wouldn't have been going anyway with the youngest lad now unwell.  It just makes him that much harder to manage. So fate steps in again.

I have been thinking this week that all my dreams towards a future for myself (doing what I want to do) seem so distant.  I mean you give it a good go. You try to catch a few hours here and there.... try to relax and slow down..... may take up little projects to give you an interest outside your kids, make new friends..... but in reality, everything still must work in around your kids.  That is just the commitment of parenthood. Before you know it, you are bitter, cranky and resenting the fact that you have no time. You are tired and exhausted. Your spark and your happiness dims.  
Now whether it is a sign or fate again.... you suddenly get a massive wake up call. 
My shake up this week came in the form of a week from hell.  


Two dear friends, both sick, both have been in hospital. Luckily for one friend and God-mother to my youngest, fingers crossed she is getting better. But the other, is getting worse. I have already lost a friend this year to cancer, so to see it happening all over again, is challenging.  I know my friend who is slipping away at such a young age, has been battling for a long time. Her inner strength and will to live for her little boy is there but I guess her body is just failing. When I received the call from her Mum today, saying she was in the ICU, I knew what this meant. I can't go and see her. So I have to just send my words through a text.  Feeling somewhat guilty now about complaining that I have no time or breaks from my kids, when I can hear her words, telling me that every minute with her son is so precious. Every afternoon when school ends she makes little videos of their adventures, or spends the day planning a treasure hunt for him. She was building memories for him I guess.  I feel so weak and inferior when in the presence of this woman. To know you will not be there to watch your kids grow up... she, like so many others, in similar situations are just inspiring. I think I would like to be more like her.

So the moral to this posting is..... when your kids are driving you nuts, or you are so tired from being up all night with a sick child, or feeling trapped because you never get any YOU time or get to aspire to what YOU want to do..... Stop and Think.  Does it really matter in the big scheme of things?  Think to yourself how incredibly lucky you are just to be here with your child. I am obviously feeling quite emotional about the week that has passed and I don't intend on giving up on hopes and dreams so I can attend to my kids every need....

BUT

this week has been a test for me. To have clarity on things maybe I didn't want to face.  Life can throw things at you from left of field....  it's way too short.... it goes way too fast.... so procrastination, patience and waiting may not be the best choice. Friends have taught me to enjoy the moments and experiences you have and share with your kids. Take the time to give, love and communicate. Don't expect things to always be there.... because in the circle of life it just may not be possible. But
before we can appreciate this we need to have accepted it.

    “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”              

Buddha

'Friends In Deed' Announced; Two Novels About Autism Help Parents Cope

'Friends In Deed' Announced; Two Novels About Autism Help Parents Cope.

'Friends In Deed' Announced; Two Novels About Autism Help Parents Cope

Wednesday 20th July 2011 | 11:45 AM

Autism and childhood disease immunization are controversial in both diagnosis and implementation. A new novel helps parents see that diagnosis does not define the child, and that when all else fails, faith will sustain you. (BRISBANE, AUSTRALIA) - Author Elizabeth Ferguson today announced the release of the highly anticipated Friends In Deed (ISBN #9781742840727), a compilation of two novellas about the complexities related to supporting a child with a disability. The book will strike an inspiring chord with parents who are struggling to cope with a life re-defined by diagnosis. In Julie's Journey, the main character is a single mother who deals with the problems she faces when she must fight for the rights of her 10-year-old son whose challenging behaviour is eventually diagnosed as autism. The second novella, Mary's Mission, is a sequel written from a different perspective, dealing with Mary's struggle to provide support and services for her severely disabled son. Through faith, she manages to support family and friends. "Ultimately, I wrote Julie's Journey to let parents know that they're not alone when they fight to support a child with a disability. The second novel, Mary's Mission, was written to show how faith will sustain, even in the most difficult circumstances," says Elizabeth Ferguson. Julie, speaking with her mother: "I've been having some trouble at school with Ben. Slowly she pulled out the list she had made, the information on ADHD and autism, and placed them in front of her mother. As Beth reached for her glasses, Julie asked, "Is there a family history of slow learning, or clumsiness, or anything in the family?" Elizabeth Ferguson is a registered nurse who was involved in the immunization programme in the Shoalhaven, and also the parent of a child with multiple disabilities. In her professional and personal capacity, she has assisted numerous parents to identify developmental issues that they had with their children, and in accessing diagnosis, support and education. Elizabeth Ferguson is a mother of three and married. Now retired, she spends her time travelling between Australia, the USA and Bahamas. Julie's Journey was previously published by an American publisher. Mary's Mission has never been published and is a sequel to the first. For more information, please visit http://www.bookpal.com.au/

YOGA THERAPY FOR AUTISM....

YOGA THERAPY FOR AUTISM....

This morning I woke to my youngest son performing yoga moves. He knew each of them by name and was in the correct formation for each movement.  I was so impressed by his display, that I decided to discover a little more about the benefits of Yoga on all children and what was available within Yoga Resources for children on the Autistic Spectrum. I know my son had been exposed to some Yoga movements from school. This was implemented alongside a Learning Connections program. The Focus here was on addressing sensory and body awareness. I have included an exert from their website:  www.learningconnections.com.au

"Learning Connections believes that the majority of children with learning difficulties, attention disorders and behaviour problems share common underlying factors, that is, neuro-developmental delay. This results in developmental immaturities, which puts these children at high risk for learning difficulties, attention and behaviour problems." "The Learning Connections' approach is based on a neurological view of development that has been influenced by the work of a range of researchers and practitioners. The Learning Connections program is essentially a sensory motor maturation program in which children replicate the early movement experiences that are required to establish good building blocks, or "wiring", of the brain that is essential for efficient learning." "McCain and Mustard (1999) state positive sensory stimulation….helps strengthen brain capacity in functions such as cognitive development, stable emotions,……and normal arousal responses. Learning Connections has been using the theories outlined in the Early Years Study in parent and teacher workshops for the since 1976." 

The Prep and Year One children positively responded to the program, receiving welcoming success by children, parents and staff.

And so the search begins.....

I was so surprised by what I have found this really could involve a few different posts. But to keep it simple to begin with a basic summary... 

Yoga has been documented to assist strengthening, calming and self-control with children who are on the Autistic Spectrum.... Aspergers included. Through performing a series of tension-releasing exercises, suitable for reducing coping mechanisms, such as hand-flapping, and increasing muscle tone, muscle strength and body awareness, therapists are finding drastic improvements in Autistic behaviours. The other benefit.... Yoga movements can be individually adapted to sit specific needs.  People use yoga for a variety of conditions and to achieve fitness and relaxation.  Some researchers believe that yoga can be taught to people with autism to help them develop the ability to imitate other people, which in turn helps them with other behaviours including social skills.

http://life.gaiam.com/article/butterfly-stretch-autistic-boy-finds-comfort-calm-yoga

Butterfly Stretch: Autistic Boy Finds Comfort in the Calm of Yoga.

Julie Kailus

Andrew Benisek is proof that the ancient practice of yoga touches all souls.

This 9-year-old autistic boy from DeKalb, Ill., literally stumbled upon yoga one day while rooting through his mother’s collection of yoga VHS tapes.

He pushed play on Patricia Walden’s original bestseller, Yoga for Beginners, and was hooked. Today Andrew, officially diagnosed with pervasive developmental delay on the autism spectrum, owns dozens of yoga and meditation DVDs. Another perennial favourite is Rodney Yee’s AM/PM Yoga.

“The yogis speak very slowly and calmly and he likes that,” says Andrew’s mother, Nuala. “He doesn’t lay down in savasana, but he watches [the DVD] or is doing something else and has it on in the background.”

Andrew does participate more actively when he feels like it. “I do sitting poses and meditation,” he says. His favourite move? Proud warrior pose. Quite remarkably, Andrew even defines the word meditation as “mind, body and spirit.” 

Experts suggest that yoga’s soothing nature may appeal to autistic and other developmentally disabled children whose sensory systems are in effect “overloaded.” The practice’s peaceful atmosphere — dim lights, quiet music and slow movements — can provide a welcome respite.  Inverted movements such as child’s pose, downward dog and triangle work the vestibular system, which helps with balance and special orientation — areas that are especially important for autistic children, says Britt Collins, a Salem, Oregon-based occupational therapist. Collins partnered with famed Survivor winner and yoga instructor Aras Baskauskas on the Yoga for Children with Special Needs DVD.

A restful routine

Nuala says her son’s fascination with yoga grew after Andrew’s initial discovery about three years ago. “We’d go shopping at Target or Borders, and he would just gravitate toward the fitness section.”

Today yoga is a near-daily break for Andrew. When he comes home from school he goes to his bedroom and puts on one of his yoga videos, and we just know to leave him alone for a half hour or so, explains Nuala. “If he has a whole day of stimulation during the school year or if he’s had a tough day, he goes right up there.”

Are his poses spot-on in terms of form? “No,” says Nuala, “but he just breaks out his mat and tries them.”

The practice seems to complement Andrew’s interest in all things tech-oriented. He loves computers — and elevators. “There’s not a remote control he can’t figure out,” says Nuala. “Andrew can ride a bike and scooter, but can’t catch a ball well or line up a baseball bat. He can keyboard and run a remote control, but holding a pencil is still a challenge.”

Yoga seems to provide numerous benefits for children struggling to navigate through a “neuro-typical” world. Some suggest it may offset an autistic child’s common preoccupation with objects rather than people, tapping into a calm, non-competitive realm in the brain.

Those who teach yoga for autistic or special needs children, including Collins, report that it can improve focus and concentration, one of autism’s greatest challenges, as well as help counter poor muscle coordination, ease tension and teach coping mechanisms.

Nuala sees yoga’s effect on Andrew’s sensory integration. “It helps him organize what’s coming in,” she says. Weight-bearing poses like plank, for example, are very beneficial for an autistic child, she suggests.

The benefit of beginner's mind.

What’s so harmonious about yoga and the autistic child is the absence of ego. Often associated with “losing” oneself or finding a pure and compassionate heart, yoga seems to work for autistic children who come to the practice unhindered, fully open to the experience, with what is known as beginner’s mind.

“Andrew has almost no ego,” says Nuala. “He’s so encouraging and very genuine — almost Zen-like in being present in the moment.” While staying focused can be short-lived, admits Nuala, “He’s just a sweet little kid. He radiates a happy vibe.”

A spiritual openness is also encouraged in the Benisek home. “We don’t have a mainstream religion. We are more spiritual than formally religious,” says Nuala. “So we can be very confident when he is exploring the philosophy behind yoga — and we enjoy watching him do these things.”

What’s Andrew’s take? “It makes my body feel good,” he says of his yoga practice. 

One pose that describes him, says Andrew, is butterfly stretch. What a fitting analogy for this beautiful yogi in the making.

Photos by Lindsay Kuntzi

Even though this article was based in the U.S. I am currently searching for a Yoga DVD - Special Needs, that can be bought and shipped if necessary here to Australia.