Dang the Night Parties!

Perfect example of the dreaded Night Parties.....

It is now 2.50am in the morning....my youngest is wide awake.

He fell asleep on the lounge around 5pm yesterday afternoon. He has been so tired from school. I had tried to wake him at several stages through the early night, but he just wouldn't open his eyes. So hoping I would get a few hours of sleep in, I went to bed at around 11pm. 

This is when life starts to challenge.... nights like this. I have been doing night parties with my youngest, since he was a baby. The term is one I had heard when my son attended Autism Queensland for a year. All of the six kids in the group....did "Night Parties!"

Unfortunately these kids just get their days and nights confused. We have tried so many things to help break the pattern; lavender, massage, warm baths, even a "Melatonin" tonic I had made, through a Naturopath. But for my son, these methods are not as effective as a full day of exercise. I basically have to wear him out!

Now normally, this wouldn't be such a big issue for me, however tomorrow or rather today, my older son is having a party for his birthday. I was so proud of him. I gave the choice...party/present and he chose a party with his friends. So I have 15 kids coming to the local pool/water park for a full day of swimming and mischief. Yippee! Do you think I will have to be on my guard with 12 year olds?.....hmmmmmm!  Let's think about that shall we!

Anyway....I guess it is times like this when, you just try to do the best you can do.... with a mountain of coffee! 

I've just looked over at my boy....sitting on the lounge watching "Thomas the Tank Engine", eating toast.....I hope I can get another hour in at some stage this morning.

I think I need to source a quote or seek reflection to get me through!

3.20am

Ok, that took longer than what I thought.....think I may have fallen asleep on the laptop for a minute!

"They joys of motherhood are never fully experienced until the children are in bed."

- Author Unknown.

UPDATE:

Now....5.18am and still going strong. Looks like I won't be going back to bed!

Today is International Asperger's Day

Article from  ABC

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories

Q&A - Asperger's syndrome

By Tim Leslie

Asperger's syndrome is a neuro-developmental disorder, one of the suite of conditions making up the autism spectrum.

While people with Asperger's have an intellectual capacity within the normal range, they experience problems with social interaction, and difficulties understanding the nuances of emotion, as well as intense preoccupation with a particular subject or interest.

These difficulties are often offset by exceptional abilities, brought about by the intense focus that forms part of the disorder.

For International Asperger's Day, ABC News Online spoke to expert Tony Atwood, a psychologist who specialises in treating children with the disorder, and has authored several books on the subject.

What is Asperger's syndrome?

Asperger's syndrome describes someone who is different, and one way I describe it, is that the person has found something more interesting in life than socialising.

And that means that the person with Asperger's syndrome finds people a real challenge in reading body language, making friends and really understanding social situations.

But there are other dimensions too, a different form of learning, of perceiving the world, becoming very sensitive to certain sensory experiences, and sometimes being a bit sort of anxious. But someone with Asperger's syndrome may have particular talent in areas like engineering or the arts.

How does it occur?

What has happened is that the brain didn't develop as we anticipate. Now that may be because of inheritance; in other words it's a family characteristic that with this particular child is greater, or something has disrupted brain development from conception, right through to early infancy.

Is there a genetic component to the condition?

There is a genetic component in the sense for half the children we see, this seems to be a characteristic within families, and also from our clinical experience one in five of the families we see have more than one child with the characteristics.

Asperger's syndrome and autism are often linked together, can you explain the difference between the two?

It's part of what we call the autism spectrum, and it's a bit like visual impairment. You can have someone who is blind, ie;  you can have someone who's severely autistic - completely blind to the social world.

Asperger's syndrome is like someone who needs glasses, who can read the big print, for example that somebody is crying, so they're sad, but may not read the fine print in facial expressions, say embarrassment or jealousy.

How common is Asperger's?

Asperger's is about one in 250 people, and the ratio is about three to one; so three males to one female.

What do you think of public perceptions of Asperger's syndrome?

I think the general public is very positive. I think people are very curious, it's a name that they're starting to get to know.

What we're trying to get across is that the child has difficulties, but also talents, and I think if there's going to be a change, it's in terms of seeing their qualities as children eg; for Lego, their ability to play music, their ability to draw in photographic realism.

So we're looking at their strengths to build up their self esteem and also their careers.

Do you think there needs to be more support for those who have Asperger's?

If it's one in 250 people everyone will know someone either at school or a neighbour or somebody in their past with those characteristics.

So what we're trying to do is to get people to recognise such individuals, and instead of laughing at them, or feeling annoyed by them, to show some degree of compassion and support.

What is the one thing you would like the public to keep in mind in regard to Asperger's syndrome?

Celebrate difference and not necessarily see it as defect.

http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/

Out of the mouths of Babes.....

"Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn." 

 Benjamin Franklin

Well, well.... who would of thought that I would yet again find myself in front of a classroom full of Year One children.  How did I go?  I can feel the anticipation of you all wanting to know....


I had butterflies!  I was really nervous. Luckily for me, they are a beautiful bunch of kids.
This morning I was given the opportunity to visit my youngest son's classroom
and talk to them about Autism and my son's needs.  I had made a power point presentation which the children really enjoyed.  It was important to tell his peers, as many funny, normal, cheeky, boisterous stories about my son as possible.  The children in his class, need to identify with him and though he has very high needs, he loves to do all the things other kids his age do.


The children were all very polite and very attentive.  Actually my child was the one who chatted through the whole thing.... reciting phrases and demonstrating actions from the wiggles, with an occasional glance towards the power point screen to call out names of his favourite family members and of course "bowling!".   I take my hat off to his past and present teachers... he can be quite disruptive!


I heard lovely comments, relayed by the other children in his class. This almost reduced me to tears.... notice how I said almost! and we all managed to discuss a lot of things concerning Autistic behaviour. I was so impressed by the "thinkers" in the group and the "empathy" expressed by children, especially about his head butting. They were all so concerned.... worried he was hurting himself.   I hope I was effective in trying to explain behaviours my son shows.         I reassured everyone, that most of the time he does not hurt himself, but every now and again he can... and it does hurt. The important thing to remember is, that he has very caring people around him.  We talked about feeling frustrated and not being able to say what you want.  I have promised that I will go back for another visit very soon, to read a story and teach the class some sign language.  The "sign" I did manage to slip in today,  was for "lolly".... they loved it and it felt good!
All those beautiful, curious little faces, the back and forth conversation I had with them... it was so wonderful! 
I was a bit overwhelmed in the beginning. It's strange to experience this with such young minds. It has been a long time since my eldest was 6 yrs old and I've never had it with his brother. So many questions and wanting to know more. It is so encouraging, fostering a support network to surround my boy, as he grows and moves through the years. His classmates were reassured they will soon have to teach everyone else all about Autism. Their little faces all lit up.  I guess it was important to remind them of how special teaching and compassion is.  


So as you can see, it was quite successful!  I would encourage all parents, who have children with needs, to do this. It's so important and reassuring to build these foundations, with the people, who we choose, to be around our kids.  My son's teacher and I felt positive. The next step will be to copy the power point onto a CD and send it home to every family.  That way our class parents will have a better understanding of Autism and how they can support their children, if  more questions arise. 
In a small way, it is also fostering awareness within our school. 
My family needs this. My son needs this.  
The outside world can be harsh. We need to raise our children to be accepting of all differences.  They are our future!

Taking Time To Give Thanks

This morning when I pulled myself out of bed, I was tired.  My batteries are beginning to
drain. The past few weeks have been difficult and the challenges the boys and I have been facing were beginning to take hold of me. I checked my emails and immediately, have to suit up the old emotional armour. I start reading about the days new obstacles. I can guarantee that at the start of most mornings... there it is, in black and white, a whole new list of opponents to dual. And as I do this I know it is only a matter of time before I will have no energy left to draw on.
The boys have slept in again... I can see they are getting really tired. We begin the arduous task of bustling without stressing, preparing for school. I get my youngest son's toast ready, the same thing each morning.... 2 slices of bread, toasted - one slice has Vegemite, while the other is cut in half... one side with peanut butter and the other side, strawberry jam.  It frustrates me that he won't try and have something different. But when he is struggling so much to settle at school, the goal here isn't to force him to try new food, it is to get him to eat. I decide not to confront him today so at least I know he and eaten and will be able to focus, coping with the mornings demands. Smile and wave I say to myself.... just smile and wave!
But as I am preparing lunches calling out orders from our kitchen.... or really nagging, I get something that is so unexpected, it has totally over-whelmed me.
I call out to my youngest saying "Come on love... we must keep eating our toast!"  I have already said this about 10 times this morning. I feel like a record player.  And then out of absolutely no where.... my youngest, non-verbal angel replies with....
"L _ _  _ _ _  eating toast." I look up from cutting sandwiches and here he is sitting on the chair in front of the wiggles, he had turn around, looking at me, holding his piece of Vegemite toast in air, showing me he was eating. He had in essence for the first time in  almost 7 years, back-chatted!  
I was so astounded, that I could do was cheer, cry, apologise for my mistake and just hug and kiss him. He had no idea of why I was making such a fuss. He was probably thinking.."Gee I wish she would just back off and stop yakin'".  This is absolutely huge for us, a massive step forward!  My oldest son looks over, observing the antics in the kitchen and says, "Mum you are so emotional!"  I look over at him wiping the tears from my eyes and say "Yeah I know... but you gotta love me!"  He rolls his eyes in response.


I guess it is moments like this that make it all worthwhile.  I am so grateful right now for everything in my life. This feeling is almost indescribable.  I am overcome with pride, I am thankful, energised, emotional, inspired, relieved, shocked .... it is just the most incredible sensation. It may not be such a big deal to anyone else, but for our family, it is these little signs, little achievements, that hold so much meaning. This is what my life is all about and really this is why I had started the blog. The previous few posts have been mainly about all the things that make living with ASD challenging, but the goal for those, was raising awareness.
The break-through I had with my son this morning is the real reason why I am writing things down.  These are the experiences I want to share. I know that this blog is only a chapter in the legacy I want to leave my children.  It is so important to me that they will be able to look back at our life and be proud of who their mother was. I hear all the time from people.. "I don't know how you do it! /  being a sole mum and coping with special needs must be so hard!"  my reply is usually.. "well that's life.. I just have to cope, it just has to be done."  But in essence, this is how I cope.  My sons are constantly inspiring me to keep going.  This morning, my youngest has given me so much hope, just from that connection. He has energised my tired batteries, recharged my determination and will, making me feel stronger than I have in weeks.  Honestly, nothing will wipe the smile off my face today!


When the boys were younger I used to say to my older son.... "God has given your brother to us for a reason. He knew that you and I were strong and loving enough to help him."  But now I think, that L _ _ _ _ _ is a gift... a precious gift from God.  He was given to us for one reason....to inspire us and light the way.
So today I am giving thanks for my amazing angels. My life would be so incomplete without them, they are my saving grace.

RDI: RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT INTERVENTION

RDI  INTERVENTION

For anyone interested in the RDI Program, please refer to the following links:

http://www.rdiconnect.com

http://www.connectandrelateforautism.com.au/

RDI Consultant:  Bronwyn Parsons                                        Email: rdibron@tpg.com.au

Dip Teach, B.Ed (Early Childhood)                                       bronwyn.parsons@carfa.com.au

RDI Program Certified Consultant

The following information has been taken directly from the Carfa Website.

Connect and Relate for Autism’s Relationship Development Intervention RDI® consultants. Our RDI® Consultants are based in Western Australia, Victoria, New South Wales and Queensland. Families can access the RDI® consultants either in a face to face context or at a distance. The RDI® programme is managed through an online interactive computer system - the RDIos™ that allows education, consultation and feedback to be a continuous active process between consultant and family regardless of their location. RDI® consultants and families arrange travel as required for face to face sessions and for the Relationship Development Assessment RDA™. This can be either to the family’s location or to the consultant’s base centre. The RDIos™ tracks progress and enables the family to interact with the RDI® community world wide through live webinars, online chats and parent forums.

• Restoring the child’s trust and motivation for cognitive apprenticeship
• Building children’s competence in mastering increasingly complex dynamic systems in many different settings with many different partners
• Transferring the impetus for discovery and life-long growth to the child
• Increasing neural integration & collaboration
• Restoring normal family life

RDI® is about providing Second Chances to function in a complex and ever changing world. Each child deserves a second chance to address areas of developmental proficiency that typical children achieve in their early months and years

This is REMEDIATION

“When we provide a second chance and re-introduce the dynamic world in a more mindful, deliberate manner, children with ASD benefit from Guided Participation as much as anyone else”

Sometimes all we can do is laugh......

Laugh at your Mistakes.... but learn from them.

Joke over your troubles.... but gather strength from them. 

Have fun with your difficulties.... but overcome them.

Autism Qld Wrap Bracelets......

Help raise money for Autism Qld. with a  green and blue wrap bracelet. Made of black leather, silver beads and Japanese glass, which looks and feels like seaglass. A simple statement piece that also has a meaning.

$20 FROM THE SALE OF EACH BRACELET GOES DIRECTLY TO AUTISM QLD.

Approx. length: 65cm.

http://www.zendesigns.com.au

The Ripple Effect

The Ripple Effect?  

When I refer to the Ripple Effect, I am talking about the effect one of my son's ASD traits has on the other. A times it can make parenting or even living in our home extremely challenging.  
I can recall times from my childhood of the Ripple Effect too. I have memories of my father, teaching me how to dance as a little girl. He would put one of his favourite songs on our record player, Jimmy Gilmer & The Fireballs - "Sugar Shack" or Cole Joy, "Be Bop A Lula", take my hand and guide me to place my feet on top of his. Then we would dance. These are my fondest memories of my father. The Ripple effect here, was laughter. positive, fun, ripples. My sister and I would then excitedly watch my Mum and my Father, jiving around our living room. But Ripples can create both laughter and stress. Unfortunately those happier memories are few compared to the others I have. I try not to dwell on these not so pleasant recollections, but in this case, I am purely using them as an example. 
My father would usually come home, late afternoon, to a quite, peaceful home. My sister and I would usually be making ourselves busy and Mum was always working in her sewing room that was in our garage. I remember having a very uneasy feeling when I heard his car pull into our driveway.... then the Ripple effect. Usually in one of his moods, my father went out of his way to antagonise either my sister or I. My mum would sense it, or rather anticipate it and immediately leap to our defence. The only problem, then she would find herself on the receiving end My father's irrational behaviour. Instinctively, my older sister would try to come to my mother's aide.  The tension by this time was well and truly building. The once quite household, erupted into a massive volcano of emotion and abuse. I acknowledge that at the time, my sister would shelter me, knowing I was younger maybe. But this was a lot to ask of a 10 year old girl.  Even to this day, she has that mothering instinct when It comes to her younger sister, always there protecting and supporting.  I can remember the "Ripples" coming from my father, would not stop until he had emotionally wiped out the entire household.  When I reflect on all this now, I really do have a lot of respect for my Mum.  To have to live through the exhaustion of those ripples, all the while, supporting my sister and I, and really being responsible for the women we are today.  She is amazingly strong and resilient.

So back to the Ripple Effect. You would think growing up In a house-hold having to experience Emotional Ripples,  I would be quite good a defusing them….  I am getting there, but far from efficient.  Sometimes I can see, the emotion building, the short tempers, the out bursts… slowly, slowly building... not being able to cope with even the smallest of challenges.  (Remember a challenge for my boys can be something as simple as wanting something to eat and not being able to ask or decide what it is that they want.)  A melt-down is usually a case of "the smallest straw that finally breaks the camels back!"    When I can see, the wave of emotion building, I can sometimes intervene. This is usually done with a swim at the local pool, a bike ride, a jump on the trampoline or just by using simple calm words and reducing the noise level in the house. Giving the boys space to try and regulate their own emotions helps too.  Sounds admirable, but this is not always possible. Once the melt-down, is away, it can send a ripple of anxiety through the house, causing the other to react. I cannot tell you if It is a case of the younger, non-verbal son (who has higher needs) that does this more, or my pre-adolescent older son.  Actually to meet and talk to my older son, you wouldn't think that he had Aspergers.  He has a good group of friends, is extremely caring in nature, attends camps, social groups- happily and confidently. I am lucky with him, as his diagnosis could be a lot worse.  But what happens behind closed doors, in the safety of our home, a place where the boys know they can drop their guards and release any confusion, frustration and emotion that builds up, free from being judged or criticised.... is a different story.  I am still grateful though. These releases could quite easily happen at school, or outside our home.  My younger son does struggle to keep his squealing and head butting under control when at school, but again, thankfully, he is not aggressive towards anyone. He loves the other children and even instigates socialising in his own way.  


Ipod touch, he will read Book Apps, play counting games, watch episodes of his favourite shows, all from the Ipod, with the earphones.  I have found, it will actually settle him, stop him from squealing, block out noises that may be irritating him, and all the while... giving the rest of our home some peace. He may only do this for 15 mins or so.  But believe me, just having that 15 mins of silence in the house, after a day of squealing and demands, is so appreciated.  We also use a lot of exercise to help relieve stress too. (Not always possible on rainy days, but I'll save that one for later.)


The Ripple Effect can involve me just as much as the boys.  If my youngest gets a cold, I am usually bracing myself for a week of no sleep as I try to meet the constant demands and manage frustrated behaviour.  The Ripple, in this case, can start with me.  I get over-tired, don't eat properly, I'm too exhausted to walk or go for a run, then become cranky myself. All that behaviour, in turn, affects one or even both of my boys. Before I know it, the wheels are in motion and away we go... it can be a vicious cycle. But again to help relieve some of the stress during these times, I have learnt to rely on respite that I can access through The Queensland Carers Association. Even though I thought it was important to highlight how I can cause a ripple affecting the boys, it needs to be said that in turn,  their ripples can affect me.  It is not unusual to have days when high-pitched squealing can be heard all across Brisbane. All day long. It can give you a thumping headache ! When this happens it can be extremely difficult to get off that merry-go-round. Or the constant strain of my older son, when he is anxious, trying to settle him. That is a different type of exhaustion... that is mentally draining. The tension and frustration of constant noise, the exhaustion, just seems to bounce between the three of us.


Somehow though, as we all collapse into bed... I know in the morning, it will be the start of another day. Who knows how it will turn out?  I guess by being aware of things like the Ripple Effect, by just watching my kids behaviour and being a little more observant of things that are going on prior to the ripples, I have a better chance of defusing stress, than I did the day before.  I try to, and I am constantly reminded to, look at the positive in even the worst of days.  Yeah.. it may have be unbelievable... but what have I noticed ?  What has changed?  Usually when I stop and reflect... the answer is there. Sometimes, it will take a friend or relative or one of the boys teachers to point it out, but it is very rare that we don't see the obvious.  I think it just takes that extra time and effort, instigated by me to reach out and ask for help or ask for opinions.  It is a very big realisation in life when you actually admit, honestly to yourself, that you are not a "Super-Mum" and that "You can't do everything!"    Everybody needs a little help every now and again. It is there, but it is up to us to reach out and ask for it.  


"If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves."  
C.G. Jung, Integration of the Personality, 1939




http://qld.carersaustralia.com.au
www.carersaustralia.com.au

A Worthy Cause....

I told my son this morning we were entering an International Woman's Day Fun/ Run/Walk.
I can't exactly write down what he had said in response.... but after some more detail... he could see the benefit of participating. Residing in Brisbane and seeing the recent disaster that has affected our city, $1.00 from every entry is being  donated to the Premier's Disaster Relief Appeal.  This is another great reason to enter such an event.
Not only will we be supporting a wonderful cause such as "Chicksinpink" - who raise funds to support breast cancer care and research at the Mater Hospital, but we'll also doing our part to help the Brisbane Flood Relief Effort.


I think that if I am trying to promote Autism Advocacy.... then in turn we must do our part to support other causes that affect our community.  "You can't just talk the talk... you must also rise up and walk the walk."




http://www.everydayhero.com.au/event/womens-day-fun-run-2011
http://www.chicksinpink.com/

Obsession

Before I start this Blog, I must express my gratitude to everyone who has been sending me words of encouragement.  I was surprised at the praise I've received.  It is hard to take the plunge and Blog about your personal life, and yes some things should stay private.  I did hesitate on this venture for a long time wondering if anyone would really find anything I had to say useful.  But to those who are getting something out it then I have achieved my goal already in just a few short days. For now the posts are coming thick and fast.  I have so much I want to say. I understand now why I was encouraged to do this in the first place.... it's rewarding , a feeling I haven't felt since my teaching days.  But as I feel the desire to keep Blogging about my experiences, the washing is piling up and plates are over flowing from the sink. I think after this one I had better take a breather for a while. What an appropriate topic to end on for a while.

Obsession.

One cannot befriend a man without obsessions, for he lacks deep emotion. 

                                       (Quote by - Zhang Dai) 

When it comes to my boys and my experiences , an Obsessive behaviour is watching my youngest son line up all his trains in a row. All looking the same way, all perfectly spaced out. Or walking out into the kitchen in the morning and looking at my fruit bowl to find all the fruit has been sorted into groups, all the apples are together, oranges etc etc.  This is a very common trait of Autism. The child who will only play with a particular toy, or the child who will only eat particular foods.  I guess I am still learning through R.D.I (Relationships  Developmental Intervention)  why our kids do this? and how we can help them overcome these traits. It has a lot to do with fear of the unknown, fight/flight, a comfort zone, predictability and change. Knowing all this, I feel we also need to look at how these kids regulate their emotions.  I think personally, I am constantly evaluating my own behaviour. I will do something and immediately say to myself...(that was a bit Aspie! Like straightening a picture frame.)  I have had this particular conversation with many, many therapists over the years. "Am I an Aspie?"  "Why am I doing things this way?"  "Are my children turning me into an Aspie?"  Basically, I have been told, everyone - has Autistic traits.  But it is how we handle these traits that determines whether or not we are on the Autistic Spectrum.  Autism/Aspergers can never be cured. So what ever you hear or read suggesting this isn't quite accurate.  We can teach our children how to cope with the traits so they do not impact or hinder their lives, but that is all we can do.  In our case, the boys, diagnosed with Autism/Aspergers, need to be taught how to handle these obsessive traits so they will not impede their quality of life.  When that happens, when life is affected, especially with Adults, support is needed to get through.  

So back to the question...The answer I received from our family therapist wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear.  People and other children who live 24/7 with Autism/Aspergers are going to adopt some traits.  In my case having the boys all the time, under my care, yes.... I will be picking up their traits. But he did reassure me that he even picks up traits purely from working with kids on the Spectrum.  It's just like a person living in an aggressive marriage can adopt this aggressive manner. How many times have we read in the paper of people who are products of their childhood.  Some of us I guess, have the skills and resources to get help, but it isn't that easy for everyone. 

I guess this is when I rely on my conscious.  I am always doing things, then suddenly a feeling will arise telling me, I shouldn't be handling things that way. I guess that is when we, as guides to our kids, constantly try to demonstrate, for example; how to speak to people, especially when it comes to tone and expression.  In my youngest son's case, it is getting him used to the fact that his trains do not have to be perfectly lined up.  A few can be different... it doesn't change anything. It will not impact him if the fruit in the fruit bowl is all mixed up.  Mistakes are Ok.  Things do not have to be perfect.  Really isn't that how we learn by making mistakes in life?  It also has a lot to do with flexibility and change.  These areas are extremely difficult for a child with Autism to comprehend. 

In my older son's situation, it is identifying when he is obsessing over an idea or activity. It is alerting him to the fact and teaching him how to control his emotions so he doesn't think about an idea, or situation constantly (eg. a computer game). I have to install limits and regulate when to intervene before he reaches a melt-down point.  It's hard to be on top of all these things all the time.  I am certainly no expert at it. I am just learning, taking each day and situation as it comes.  Even with my own behaviour, identifying when you are spending too much time thinking about a situation, or an activity... like Blogging.... and placing a limit on that.  I do believe though we shouldn't panic when we see ourselves doing these things.  It's not always a case of becoming obsessed with an activity.... maybe it is just something new and that we are getting satisfaction out of doing it.  What ever your reasoning, only you can judge what is right for you. I mean how many of us have bought a new book and couldn't put it down.  That could be viewed as an obsessive behaviour... but in fact... all it is, is a case of is you getting enjoyment out of reading.  

A perfect example of typical Obsessive behaviour is in a movie called "Adam."  A story about a young man with Aspergers.  I would urge everyone to get it out on DVD.  It is really an eye-opener and I know I made a lot of connections to my own personal experiences from watching it.  Throughout the movie you are shown examples of typical obsessive behaviour.  The food in Adam's freezer is stacked perfectly in rows...all the same.  The clothes in his wardrobes, all the same, his days are timetabled to do tasks at a certain time, eating at a particular time.... basically his life was in a routine and predictable.  Things were done this way probably to help him cope, but in fact, it impeded his independence. When Adam's his father dies, he struggles to function on his own. We see his inability to thrive.  I won't go into the whole story, but I would recommend that you see it for yourself.  

Another lighter/funnier view of how obsession can affect people on the Spectrum, is the television series, "Big Bang Theory".  Even though I find this hilarious, "Sheldon's character"  is a perfect example of how obsessive behaviour can limit independence and function in the real world. It is worth a look... but each to their own.

I guess my whole point here is, we can take life way too seriously, especially when we are living with children who have special needs. I made the decision a while ago that I wasn't going to accept my children had to develop a "particular, stereotyped way". I wanted more for them. Everything I had read and programs I had tried to implement, did not really give the boys the quality of life I longed for them to have.  RDI is showing me that I needed to change my parenting and my attitude to allow them the freedom to life that they deserve. It has to start with me.  So what, that we all have little quirks. We may like our life being a particular way.  I know in my case, I tried to keep our house as tidy as possible.  (This used to compensate for the fact that I had no control over the things going on in my life.)  But now, it's not so important. The world will not crash and burn if the washing up isn't done and left overnight. Some things are just more important, like time watering the garden with my youngest son, or planning a vacation, talking to my eldest about the adventures we can have.  These are all things that make us who we are, our personalities.  We just need to remember to slow down, take things as they come and be positive about what they future will bring.  

Easier said than done... maybe.... but I guess we will never know until we try!