Head Down Keep Going.....

A very respected, wise and dear friend of mine once said..... 

“It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.”

 ....Mark Twain

We come across people in our who lives who make such an impact... it's inspiring, energising and breath-taking all at once.  It is the shared knowledge and friendships from these people that get us through even the most challenging of days.  Anyone who has a child with ASD, or knows a child with ASD would understand what I am talking about.  It can be so mentally and physically draining just trying to keep to a routine, just trying to prevent a self-harming behaviour or just trying to cope as a parent day in and day out.  

Riding the ASD emotional roller-coaster is a daily occurrence in our family.  I am constantly trying to balance the "needs scale" between both of my boys.... one who talks too much, at inappropriate times and usually about topics that impact only his needs, and one that doesn't talk so much except for when reciting wiggles songs or fixating on set phrases from books, but will squeal and become frustrated at a drop of a hat.  I would have to say that most of the time the needs scales are unbalanced, over-weighted and strained.  So how do we keep going?   


I have absolutely no idea!  

I think it is because I am continually inspired by those people who surround me.  Whether it is my mother's never ending energy levels,  my sister's multi-tasking, kind heart and patience, my best friend's ability to achieve so much in her life and raise two amazing daughter's - constantly aspiring to learn more and do more, or another dear friend who can stand up to a mountain of injustice, find a pathway through, leading others, becoming a voice for those who do not have one - all the while living a positive life, never judging, always listening, ready to sacrifice for the greater good.  People with these qualities walk in and out of our lives constantly, but sometimes what makes them so special is over-looked.  This is very much so in an ASD world where it is difficult to see that others have needs too. People are there just to  serve a purpose.  So what happens to the parent who doesn't live in an ASD world?   I'm not sure.  In our case, I think continuing to move forward mentoring and guiding my boys in emotions, actions, empathy and love. It is a challenge, but what I have learnt is that, to sit and wait for help or sympathy or the recognition that you have needs... is toxic.  We have to "rise up" for ourselves. Take charge, make positive moves towards firstly recognising that we do have needs and that the only way forward is to not feel guilty about taking time to recharge. This way we can be all we need to be.  And in essence a more productive role model to our kids.  In life there are no hand outs or easy paths.  Challenges are there to inspire our thinking and self-value.  If we want things to change, the only way, is to make this happen ourselves.
We all need to learn to appreciate what it is about those around us, that makes them special. To take the time to stop and value all the positive things about our family and friends. Life can get so busy, that days slip by before we realise.  We are all guilty of taking people for granted or relying on them for things we shouldn't. Independence is the key here.

I have always held the opinion of.... if I hear the word "never", then some-how it must be possible.  Just because my child is Autistic, does not mean that he will never be independent. If anything, I hope to raise my boys with the ability to slow down and value what it is that makes a person unique. To learn, to listen, to support. To develope independence in their thoughts, feelings and lives. This is a massive goal to have for my kids, one I have been told is impossible.  Ahhh! to dream the impossible dream!   I know I can do it, for as I said earlier......

“It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.”

(Thank-you  Moz)

Something to think about......

• 80% of marriages with either an ASD child or parent ends in divorce.
• High functioning Autism is challenging for both parents. "Low functioning" Autism can be overwhelming to the entire family.
• In America: 1:110 children have Autism. When Lachie was first diagnosed this statistic was 1:160. That was only 5 years ago.
• Even though ASD cannot be cured, skills can be taught to cope in life.
• Never say never!