CHILDREN TEACH US WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT!

CHILDREN TEACH US WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT!

"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about." Angela Schwindt.

As we come the end of another turbulent week, I ponder on today's results. My youngest had begun to settle at school. He was following the routine of the days, completing tasks that were required of him. He was happy and content.

On Tuesday afternoon we had a surprise 24 hour visit from his Dad. He was in transit to the northern end of Queensland. Knowing my boys would jump at any chance they got to spend time with him, we organised the afternoon for some quality "dad-play."

I knew my youngest would be confused by the fleeting visit.... but better than not at all. I would deal with the consequences. How bad could they be.... this was a positive opportunity.

Well...... this time the consequences were a little more damaging than anyone could have imagined. Maybe this is because my child is growing up. He absolutely adores his dad. I have spoken of their special bond before. He can provide something as a father that I can simply NOT as a parent.

After the smiles, giggles and play time.... goodbyes were said without too much stress and we continued with our daily routine. But since that afternoon, my son has been in complete distress. He has shut down his communication again. He is resistant at school, not eating, squealing and head-banging...every chance he gets. He has shown some jealousy traits when his aide tried to work with other children and his sleep patterns have once again been irregular.

Not wanting to see the obvious, his supports at school and I were trying to interpret his erratic behaviour. Is he testing limits again? / Is he getting sick? / Could he be tired from the lack of sleep? We all stepped up our commitments and energy levels to try and ensure he was settled and in routine. Sometimes that takes real effort to ensure everything runs like clockwork. I was organised and working extra hard with his meals, making sure I was crushing up all his Vitamin B and Taurine vitamins, Epsom salt baths, extra attention, signing, using more visual cues...organising the house hold to make certain he was eating at the right time, in bed and asleep at the right time, burning energy and exercising in the afternoon to release pressure from his muscles, massaging his body to help him relax at night. It is basically devoting yourself every minute to his needs.... this isn't ideal but I am under constant pressure to have him in the right frame of mind for school and learning.

After ensuring all this was happening, he continued to resist, head-bang and melt down at school. So next I thought we wait, until the storm is over and the calm seas return! 

Well.... all that extra hard work climaxed today in a massive melt-down of his emotional state of mind. All week he had been babbling about his Dad. Repeating sentences over and over about his Dad.... usually from books that he has read. He was substituting characters for the word Dad.  Today after pushed to the limit.... the tears came flowing. Falling into an emotional heap of tears and exhaustion. He just cried and cried.

I have been told by his teacher and his supports that the realisation of how difficult it must be for him to not understand why his dad was here then gone ?.... where he had gone to ?.... why it is so long between visits ?... the inability to say "I miss Daddy".... or just in general to say "I'm sad today...." was really evident. This was showing through his resistance. But unaware to what was going on... he was pushed to comply.... resulting in today's events.

It is difficult for me to interject too much at school as he relates differently to me, to his teachers, friends, his brother etc. I trust his supports and the decisions that they make. But I think today, sensing this was coming, my son has shown all those around him at school, that even though the words are not there... the feeling, confusion and emotion certainly is. Great when you have a diagnosis of Autism as these traits are supposed to be absent from their development.... but certainly very difficult to try and ease or preempt.

No-one did anything wrong. It is purely just one of those things. A day where I really see the pressure placed on my son attending a mainstream school. No matter how much love and support he has around him, I often think to myself, that sometimes we all forgetful he is Autistic and just trying to survive in an ever-changing world.

So we just experience and learn.

Slow down, be more patient, really look and watch what is going on.

Experience and learn.

Love and accept.

Time will ease the storm.... 

and the actions of today will be remembered.

Tomorrow is a new beginning.


I know my son is a challenge....
But I also know he is destined for greatness.
Just think what would have become of Helen Keller.... 
if Anne Sullivan had not walked into her life as a teacher and mentor.

"Only a mother understands what a child does not say."

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