IT'S BETTER TO GIVE THAN TO RECEIVE......

"IT'S BETTER TO GIVE THAN TO RECEIVE......"

Or so the saying goes.......

But can I suggest that in the reality of life that, as noble as that sounds, one cannot survive on the notion of "always giving"..... 100% of the time. 

This thought comes of the back of a challenging week.  The youngest has been shut down for most of the time in the last two weeks and well.... the eldest, with the prospect of leaving his safe-haven of Primary School...about to venture into a new experience of High School next year.... emotions are running high, communication doors are closed and my role, especially this week, has been to continually reach out to try and ease the burdens.  Always giving.... always extending the gesture of help.... always there meeting every need.

It's draining and it's hard. Time is a precious gift. Your energy is not expendable.

It challenges you and your mindset in ways no-one can possibly understand or sympathise with.  You just hope and pray that those around you, care enough to see your wavering demeanour and extend that hand of friendship and support.... to make things a little easier. To either help when you have no time or take the time to appreciate you. Make you feel valued and to fill that gap.

That's what is needed to get you through these difficult stages.... that is what I rely on.  It's a tough gig being a parent.... a responsibility that shouldn't be taken lightly.  By no means am I saying that I am not appreciated by my children.... of course I am.  But they are children.... they know I am always there for them.... not matter what.  
So do I feel guilt, feeling somewhat annoyed that everything is a challenge and that "life" shouldn't be this hard and that just to have a connection and communicate with my kids is always so exhausting ?.... you bet I do.  Parental guilt is a powerful concept. 

I need to reflect. Firstly.... it's not their fault.  Secondly...... this is life and I have to deal with it and get on with it.... no time for self-pity. Thirdly..... it's wrong that the simplest notions are so easily taken for granted.... I need to appreciate what I do get and what glimpses of a connection I do see.  Be positive and keep going.  Over time those challenges will ease and once again, peace will be restored... weather the storm!

Not quite sure how to achieve these thoughts.... maybe I just take a minute to rest and hand my worries over to stronger power.... just for now!

I think the need to take a breath and....not give up as such.... but I must provide an opportunity for relaxation and fun.  Take away the pressures.

The strain to get through, to meet everyone's needs... to constantly initiate communicate with my kids.    Just let things be....

It could just open those doors and take the stress off me to always go the extra mile!

We will see....