DEFYING AUTISM FOR A BIG BRILLIANT BIRTHDAY !
There is a saying that goes....
"My child may have Autism......
But Autism does not have my child....."
The best way for me to describe life with Autism and limited verbal communication is; like looking at your child through opposites sides of a window. You can see each other.... you can smile and use gestures to express your feelings, but you cannot hear each other. You spend many hours watching each other, copying each other in hope of a connection, but there is always that frustration, fear and sadness of not being able to understand. Then sometimes.... just sometimes, the window blows open and you connect, a moment where you both say, hear and feel what the other is sharing..... it is literally like a breath of fresh air, a moment in time that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and at peace.
On Sunday, watching my young son at his very first birthday party, I was blessed enough to have that window open.
I stood back and watched as he welcomed each of his 34 party guests, saying "Hello", smiling and waving. With a little prompt, he thanked them for his gift, placing them in the designated present area and walked off smiling and laughing surrounded by friends. I could hardly believe my eyes and in fact, most of the adults in attendance who work with my son, stood by my side astounded at his display. He was relaxed and happy.
I had stayed up late many nights before his party making visual pictures and books, so I could prompt him of the process of the day. I needed to give him information to remove any confusion of what was to come/ the unknown. The key here was to keep these social stories simple, and they worked beautifully. He knew the process for greeting guests, organising himself for bowling, what happens after the bowling had finished, when the Birthday cake was coming and what happened during that time. Finally the process of saying thank-you and goodbye, handing out party bags to each child.
Just like clockwork, he followed that step-by-step plan, to a tee!
I was really surprised by what he was actually capable of.
The parents in attendance were also impressed by his communication and manner, the children engaged him as they always do..... but I supposed on this particular day they got to see a little more of that hidden, but beautiful personality, and I got to see my son, free of the Autistic traits that isolate him from his family and friends..... every day. His grandparents even received a very precious gift that day. For the first time in his young life, they got to see their grandson "socialising and playing" with his peers.
It was really a very moving moment for them.
Everyone enjoyed themselves so much. It was a truly wonderful party and has created some beautiful memories for my son. He has been singing Happy Birthday to himself for the past few days, looking at photos from the party and watching video clips as well. He is reading the Birthday book I made him, reliving as such, the happenings of the day.
So is he comprehending ?..... YOU BET!
Another milestone achieved.
By the end of the afternoon, arriving home with his aunty, cousin, grandparents and close family friends.... all of us exhausted from the day.....
my young son sat, surrounded by those who adore him opening his gifts.
I had decided to film all this for a virtual memory.
But the thing that really stood out for me when I was watching the video back, was the speaking. The words and clarity of meaning that were said while opening those gifts was incredible. It was definitely a break through moment for him. Everyone was silent just watching and listening when he spoke....
What an inspirational little boy.
Now even if I do not hear those words again, and there is a good chance I won't, I have the video to play back to my boy..... to reconnect to those memories.
Who knows.... this could be the one moment I have been praying and longing for..... it has been an incredibly long 7 years, waiting to hear his voice - this could be the start of a little chatter-box!
But you know what..... even if it isn't, I have that moment in time.
I have that beautiful memory of watching my child healthy, relaxed, confident, having fun, understood, and being one with his peers.....
and that is, as a parent, all of us ever really want for our child.
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