Parenting Autism is a Rollercoaster Ride!

Parenting Autism is a  Rollercoaster Ride!

I'm really not a fan of "Rollercoasters!"  The feeling of your stomach dropping, the speed, the bumps and squeaks and rattles. The loops and uncertainty. You want to get off but can't. You want it to stop but you cannot. The out-of-control feelings not knowing what is happening, where it is going or went it will finish. I guess it is the constant up and down sensation that feels the worst.  But for some unknown reason..... we line up again and again, just to have another ride. And why not?  Life is all about new experiences and even though we may not like the uncertainty, there is a "buzz" of excitement that we get on the ride. I have always said that parenting is very similar to riding a rollercoaster.....

Over the holidays I had a break through moment with my youngest. I was proud, relieved and over-whelmed. I did post the experience, "Don't Mess With the Quiet Kid!".  I bragged to all my friends and family about my "one step forward". I was on such a high.

However, we have all heard the saying... "one step forward and two steps back...."  That particular moment in time we had, was the excitement and fun of the "rollercoaster"... while this week, returning to school to start another new term, has been the scary, up and down, bumpy part of the rollercoaster ride. 

After spending a few short days at my Mum's house down the Gold Coast, we returned home, tired, full of Easter eggs and my youngest covered in Eczema again as he had an allergic reaction to my Mum's washing powder. He is irritable and itchy. His sleep patterns are all over the place and basically is out of his routine. Not particularly a good way to start off at school. Yesterday was trying as he resisted putting his uniform on and being in the classroom. Once again I found myself, walking up to the calm sanctuary of the Learning Support building, dropping him off to "Jeff", our angel in disguise (Learning Support Teacher) and running......  getting out of there as quickly as I possibly could.  I am so tired and drained. I have too many chores at home to do and to be honest, with no breaks over the school holidays, I was looking forward to some peace and quiet.

The day passed way too quickly. I was able to get in a morning run, and make a dint in a never ending mountain of paperwork.  I was expecting the school to call me, as I had a feeling, my little guy would be a challenge. But thankfully they didn't.  It's not to say that he didn't have a bad day... he did... well sort of. 

It was not "bad" in the sense of squeals, head-butts and distress but "bad" in a way where he pretty much went into his "Autistic World" and stayed there. He was distracted by his itchy skin. He wasn't able to sit for very long at his desk. He wasn't communicating or making eye contact. He was avoiding the other children who wanted to just smother him with affection. All his Autistic traits were heightened. His spins, toe-walking, little noises, flaps, another sensory overload. I cannot lie about the disappointment I feel when I hear about my son's actions.  Of course, I am saddened. But I need to remind myself... this is the "bad" part of the ride..the up-side down, twisting part where your stomach drops. It will be a time factor. He will settle again into his routine. He will come out of his world and rejoin his friends.  Luckily his aides, whom are very experienced with him, know just what to do in this situation. They just get me through each day. Slowly, carefully raising the bar when they can.

So now we are on the second day.  After a much needed longer sleep, he seemed to be more positive about going to school.  I think it will be a very bumpy week. We will need to take each day as it comes and just hold our breath until the loops end. His itchy skin will eventually settle and the rain Brisbane is currently seeing will dry up.  In the mean time, all the sensory equipment at home is in easy access for him. The mini indoor tramp, the swing and the trapeze. The the resources he needs to burn off his never ending energy. Warm baths, massages with oil especially around his calves, skin brushing and calm, soft music playing in the background when he is at home. No loud noises...just a very calm, peaceful atmosphere is what is needed.  Getting back into his routine, eating and sleeping pattern is another "must-have" task. But one that must be done in small simple steps.

I am often at odds with myself over.... whether to take a short holiday to the Gold Coast, breaking eating and sleeping patterns, the stress and drama associated with a visit to Nan's or whether just to play it safe and stay at home.  I guess by choosing the safer option, neither son has the opportunity to spend quality time with family, trips to the golden beaches - jumping in and out of waves, special attention that only Nan's can provide, the difference that a holiday can offer...the unexpected excitement of doing something out of the ordinary.  Even though it's hard..... flexibility and uncertainty faced every day is far more beneficial than compensating to my son's Autistic traits. I guess it is like, giving him a sense of "real life".  And when you consider that.....  all the challenges faced afterwards...are certainly worth it.